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THURSDAY, DECEMBER 24, 2009

Merry Christmas, Squarepusher is Dead




I see a vacant seat in the chimney corner: Tiny Tom is no more. Only his bass and his MS-20 are left as a reminder.


Merry Christmas? Alien scum. The New World Order can inflate my dromedary.


AhhhhhROOOOOOO!!!!!


And for those who have sent messages through the fools @ Mungolian HQ:


1. No. I will not be analyzing the latest Cheryl Cole song's lyrics. They are too bad to be believed. And I have heard that her album has received some good reviews from music magazines that really should know better. Pha-Q ...


2. I have nothing further to say regarding X Factor. It's over and done, and contained no surprises. Louis Walsh is still a total cock-end, Simon Cowell is still laughing all the way to the bank, Danni Minogue is so inconsequential now she might as well be me, and Cheryl Cole is still a Fishwife who would be shunned if she didn't look like she did.


3. No, I do NOT wish you a Merry Christmas. Two reasons: Jesus never did anything for me AND why just a season of goodwill? Are you people fucking idiots? You should have goodwill every minute of every hour of every day of your miserable little lives. And no, I don't count in that as I've been alive far too fucking long and I am so jaded with this existence-without-end ... there is nothing new under the sun, or any other star ...


4. Mungolian Jet Set are still not as great as you all seem to think they are. I didn't see any of you crowd downloading them to be Christmas Number ones throughout the globe. No ... which reminds me:


5. Rage Against The Machine ... I understand why the UK non-X Factor loviong populace chose this song ... but I would have been more impressed if they had picked something much more interesting ... like "Boobs-a-lot" by The Fugs ... now THAT would have been impressive.


6. Squarepusher isn't actually dead ... at least, not from the waist up ...


7. George Michael seems to have lost it a little ... not as good a voice, not as coherent lyrically as he once might have been, and he doesn't give as good a Mung Job as he used to.


8. 2010 is almost here. Which means precisely twat-milk. Calendars mean nothing. I have seen time measured a thousand different ways, and no matter what you do to slice it up, it slips away just as fast as it always does. And no-one can predict the future. So don't even think about getting upset about 2012 ... idiots ...


9. Despite everything Twin Peaks remains the best TV show I've seen on Earth (at least up until the murderer is revealed, and then again for the last episode or two of the second series ...


10. No doubt some of you will be making little recordings to include on this new Mungolian Jet Set (stupid fucking name) 12-inch single ... I mock your efforts and await those who will not pay attention to the ToS and will send their fully-fledged demos in ... you will pay DEARLY.


That's it ...


Now Fuck off. I Hate You - Get over it.



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