Letter to Norwegian Embassy, London, January 9th 2008.
To whom it may concern,
I wish to express my concern about an unprecedented menace that has emerged from your country and is currently infecting the youth of Britain with unstoppable veracity: Mungolians. These layabouts, cornerboys, soapdodgers, hippies, spivs and individuals of dubious mental fortitude
and questionable intentions have begun thrusting their elongated and throbbing remixes into the unprotected underbelly of our youth.
Indeed, it comes as no surprise that these loutish young men model themselves after the Mongol invaders.
Furthermore, it has been brought to my attention that these disco delinquents have desecrated one of their own national treasures, the beloved Sami Joik singer Mari Boine Persen. Placing her exquisite ethnic voice in a jarring juxtaposition with the worst excesses of what passes for music these days, these would-be Khans have created an altogether frightening melange of sounds encompassing the full gamut of the hallucinatory and ...full