Monthly Archives: NOVEMBER 2009

I suppose I shouldn't let this go ... now that I've been writing about this for a while ...

The Welsh Mogadon has departed. And I'm not saddened. Bye, Lloyd.

So we're left with 4 ...

Olly Murs
Stacey Solomon
Danyl Johnson
Joe McElderry

And I've placed them in order of preference, entirely subconsciously.

Yet, by all that is unholy, Joe McElderry will win. Why? I have no clue.

This is a male who sounds like a female, with the vibrato permanently switched on. And the 4 judges seem to love him. Good for him. What they see in him I have no idea ... They complain about others not moving, yet Joe can be static. They complain about lack of development as a singer and performer, yet Joe has stayed the same since his auditions. Compare with Olly Murs: Olly can sing (like a man), dance (like a Robbie Williams) and generally be something like a professional. Joe ...
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So ... Jedward are gone ...

The X Factor has produced much that is cringe-inducing over the years, but they certainly were the Kings of Cringeland. However, their demise has been long-expected. After all, there are only so many laughs to be had at the expense of two dimwits who can't sing or dance attempting to dance and sing ...

More interesting was the fact that Olly Murs was given a soft boot ... Lloyd Daniels, almost as bad as the twins, survived. Again. And now Joe McElderry is favourite to win. Which doesn't compute. Two of the most boring contestants, one who can sing, and one who can't, survive again.

The thing these two have in common is the fact they have Cheryl Cole for a mentor. Everyone's favourite polished slapper (for that is what she is - manners are beneath her, class is far above her, and her breasts are permanently ...
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The first of an occasional series ...

Some analysis of a song that has crept up just too often for my liking lately ... and since it's sung by someone I have no great fondness for, all the more reason to perform an autopsy.

Who is responsible for the Modern Poetry below?

Steve Kipner, Andre Merritt and Wayne Wilkins.

And who is currently the waitress that is delivering this exquisite dish?

Cheryl Cole.

And if you don't know who she is, I think you are genuinely lucky ... Just as most people outside Britain do not know who Katie Price aka Jordan is. Of course, America, you have given the world Britney Spears, so the game is definitely running in your favour. And I don't mean that in a good way ...

Back to the dissection ...

"Too much of anything can make you sick"

So begins the song with a statement, telling us of the dangers of excess: ...
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Vagina Dentata - what a wonderful phrase
Vagina Dentata - ain't no passing craze
It means no phallus
Get's in and out ungrazed
Or it's a coitus-free
Philosophy:
Vagina Dentata ...

You see. I have a sense of humour.

Let that be an end to your accusations, Saevik.