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TUESDAY, AUGUST 30, 2011

X Factor ... Why bother ...? Punkt instead ...




Balh Blah Blaaaaahhhh!OK.

I know I said I'd do a blog about X Factor again.

But seriously ... what is there to "talk" about?

The auditions stages consist of material that shouldn't be given weekly extended coverage. A simple hour-long summary - or perhaps 2 hours split over 2 nights - of these damnably boring shenanigans would be sufficient (if that's the right word - and I strongly suspect it isn't).

A simple showing of the best auditions, and the worst for those who like to laugh at the musical ineptitude of others, and straight to the selection stage. Then the split to the mentors and their houses, and straight to business.

The only thing that makes X Factor interesting is the final stages (judges/mentors' houses and then weekly singExpect liquorice, Fiona. LIQUORICE!-offs with public vote). And now that the News of The World is out of the picture, the ...
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MONDAY, AUGUST 22, 2011

What to do in a world without Cowell




So, X Factor is back.

And it seems that some are interested in what I might say about it. So, in an unusual gesture of acquiescence, I shall do so this year, as best I can.

I only caught a moment or two of the first show, but have checked YouTube since. It seems that young Janet Devlin of Tyrone, Northern Ireland, has stirred a few waves.  She reminds me of Luna Lovegood from the Harry Potter films. Very cute and endearing indeed. And some interesting quirks in her voice. Already a favourite for final selection it would seem. Ellie Goulding comparisons aside (and they were definitely aside for the judges, for some reason - have they never heard of Ellie Goulding?), she seems genuinely innocent. We can only hope the fame machine doesn't chew up her soul too soon (she's probably going to be this year's ...

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TUESDAY, MAY 11, 2010

Yadda Yadda Yadda and Todd Terje




I was going to write about TV shows being lifted from one country to another, complete with new locales, new characters, new language ... you know what I mean: Wallander taken from Sweden to Britain, The Office taken from Britain to the US ... all that stuff ...

But I can't be bothered.

Instead, I wrote this as a birthday present for Todd Terje:

Guddubub
Salana bokk.
Rubnub,
Cartena rokk.

I shall not explain this, as those incapable of understanding it in the original will not gain anything of true worth from the translation.

Now. Could someone please tell me where to find copies of the latest series of Charlie Brooker's "You Have Been Watching"?

Oh yes ... someone tell Piers Morgan that being part of a TV show with a high viewership does not preclude the fact that he is a cunt.


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WEDNESDAY, MARCH 31, 2010

Thanks to my English friends




I meant to write this sooner.

Thanks to my English friends (both of them) for introducing me to the wonderment that is Charlie Brooker.

He's the last sane thing on British TV, with no real US counterpart. Or any other kind of counterpart.

I don't like him any more than he probably likes me, but at least he's sane, unlike the rest of you (yes, that includes you, dear reader - now take your finger off the screen).



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MONDAY, DECEMBER 7, 2009

X Factor???




So what IS the X Factor?

Three left:

Olly Murs
Stacey Solomon
Joe McElderry

Again, Mister Joe Slow did his ballads, stretching himself not a jot. And no-one complained. After rumours of backbiting and feuding between Olly Murs and Danyl Johnson, Danyl was bade farewell, and - at least on camera - took it graciously ...

Stacey seemed confused (nothing new there).

So what is the X Factor?

Apparently, Joe McElderry has it in spades. But I cannot detect it at all ... His womanly voice seems to carry away all the possibilities of criticism that every other contestant suffered (Jamie Archer was just a rocker; Lucie Jones could only sing slow numbers; Stacey can't move and sing at the same time). Is his voice really that good? Is it so mindbogglingly distracting that he could look like a potato dressed as a turd and no-one would care?

I confess, I'm stumped. Completely. And I don't know why I'm ...
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