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THURSDAY, DECEMBER 24, 2009

Merry Christmas, Squarepusher is Dead




I see a vacant seat in the chimney corner: Tiny Tom is no more. Only his bass and his MS-20 are left as a reminder.


Merry Christmas? Alien scum. The New World Order can inflate my dromedary.


AhhhhhROOOOOOO!!!!!


And for those who have sent messages through the fools @ Mungolian HQ:


1. No. I will not be analyzing the latest Cheryl Cole song's lyrics. They are too bad to be believed. And I have heard that her album has received some good reviews from music magazines that really should know better. Pha-Q ...


2. I have nothing further to say regarding X Factor. It's over and done, and contained no surprises. Louis Walsh is still a total cock-end, Simon Cowell is still laughing all the way to the bank, Danni Minogue is so inconsequential now she might as well be me, and Cheryl Cole is still a Fishwife who would be shunned if ...


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MONDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 2009

The Scientific Lesbians of America






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WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 2009

A Song (Footnote to "Pedicure on Our Toes, Toes")




Vagina Dentata - what a wonderful phrase
Vagina Dentata - ain't no passing craze
It means no phallus
Get's in and out ungrazed
Or it's a coitus-free
Philosophy:
Vagina Dentata ...

You see. I have a sense of humour.

Let that be an end to your accusations, Saevik.


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MONDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 2009

Putting Rumours to Rest




I have upset some people at Mungolian HQ ... apparently they fear my departure into the dark and strange world of TV forums ...

That's not going to happen. I am already aware of "I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here!"

I shall not be watching.

Why? Apart from George Hamilton (best movie: "Love at First Bite"), I have no clue who these "celebrities" are. Apart from two: one being Samantha Fox, former tits-out model and occasional singer with Hawkwind (you think I'm joking???), and once, almost a fully-fledged popstar.

The other?

A nauseating pus-squirt from the septic anus of modern British culture: "Katie Price, aka Jordan."

After a televised marriage - breakdown and all - the most amoral opportunistic publicity whore (and other kinds of whore, one might suspect) is returning to the show that brought her her greatest level of fame and a television show or three ... for "closure" ... oh ...
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THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 2009

I remember, I remember: The Guru.




SaintOnce, long ago, before I left my distant home, I met a woman who looked like a man (or was it the other way around?) who was considered a saint by all who knew him/her.

Why?

Because s/he could make things appear out of thin air.

Now, this is quite impressive at first. So impressive, in fact, I decided to follow him/her around for a while (dropping everything else I was doing ... not really recommended).

After the 8th day of following this saint, I realised that s/he was truly amazing in several respects. The ability to materialize random objects, sometimes on demand was one. The other was the fact that s/he produced nothing of use.

"It's not about the usefulness," s/he told me when I asked him/her about it, "but the effect it has upon your faith. Do you believe?"

I just raised my eyebrows, and went back to my tent.

I lay, meditating on what ...
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